The Dinoco 400 (CLAoC)
This is a scene from Connor Lacey's Adventures of Cars. Lightning McQueen: (inhales and exhales) Okay... here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. (Picture of cars racing) One winner. Forty-two losers. I eat losers for breakfast. (Picture of cars racing) Breakfast? Wait, maybe I should've had breakfast. A little breck-y could be good for me. No, no, no. Stay focused. Speed. (Picture of cars racing) Faster than fast. Quicker than quick. I am Lightning. (Someone knocks from outside) Mack: Hey, Lightning? You ready? (A door opens) Lightning McQueen: Oh, yeah. Lightning's ready. (Lightning McQueen enters outside of his trailor) (He revs his engine and looks around the arena his trailer is in) (The arena was crowded with cars and the camera crew point the cameras at Lightning) Lightning McQueen: Ka-chow! (Racecars zoom around the track) (Lightning drives past a few then has to lean against the wall to pass two more) (He's shown on a jumbotron winking) (Mia and Tia, two female cars, scream) (The crowd goes wild) Condescension Car: Get your antenna balls here! (Motorhomes watch the race from the area's center) (Forklifts change tires and refuel racers in the pits) (Elvis, a motorhome with a quif, shakes his shatty) Elvis: (singing) Uh! (The camera then shows Chick Hicks as he purposely hits a racer named Lee Revkins off the track.) Lee Revkins: Uh! Aaaaaahh! (slides away) (The camera shows The King overtaking Chick, and he drives away revving his engine.) (Then the camera shows Bob Cutlass and Darrell Cartrip, car versions of Bob Costas and Darrell Waltrip, announcing the race.) Bob Cutlass: Welcome back to the Dinoco 400. I'm Bob Cutlass, here with my good friend, Darrell Cartrip. We're midway through what may turn out to be a historic day for racing. Darrell Cartrip: Bob, my oil pressure's through the roof right now. If this gets any more exciting, they're gonna have to tow me outta the booth! Bob Cutlass: Right you are, Darrell. Three cars are tied for the season points lead, heading into the final race of the season. And the winner of this race, Darrell, will win the season title and the Piston Cup. Does The King, Strip Weathers, have one more victory in him before retirement? Darrell Cartrip: He's been Dinoco's golden boy for years! Can he win them one last Piston Cup? Bob Cutlass: And, as always, in the second place spot we find Chick Hicks. He's been chasing that tailfin his entire career. Darrell Cartrip: Chick thought this was his year, Bob. His chance to finally emerge from The King's shadow. But the last thing he expected was...Lightning McQueen! Bob Cutlass: You know, I don't think anybody expected this. The rookie sensation came into the season unknown. But everyone knows him now. Darrell Cartrip: Will he be the first rookie to win a Piston Cup and land Dinoco? Bob Cutlass: The legend, the runner-up, and the rookie! Three cars, one champion! (The camera then shows the racers. Chick is trying to overtake Strip Weathers, who was blocking his way. McQueen then catches up to Chick as they try to get ahead of one another.) Chick Hicks: No you don't. (McQueen then moves to the left and finally overtakes Chick.) Lightning McQueen: (chuckles) Chick Hicks: Hey! (Chick then gains on McQueen as Real Gone ends. Chick Hicks then bumps McQueen, causing him to slide off the track onto the infield. The crowd is heard booing to what had happened.) Motorhome: Whoa! What a ride! Larry: What a ride! Chick Hicks: Ha-ha-ha-ha! Larry: Go get 'em, McQueen! Go get 'em! R.M.: (whistles) (McQueen then drives back on the track, behind all of the other racers. Chick then looks back to see McQueen far behind him.) Female audience member: I love you, Lightning! Chick Hicks: Dinoco is all mine! (bumps a race car named Winford Bradford Rutherford) Winford Bradford Rutherford: AAAAHHH!!!! (slides into the wall, and collides with all of the other racers) Darrell Cartrip: Trouble, turn three! Chick Hicks: Ha-ha! Get through that, McQueen! Bob Cutlass: Oh! Huge crash behind the leaders! Crowd: (gasps) (The camera then shows all of the different racers as they collide, with one flying through the air, and one losing its tire. Claude and another racer named Billy Oilchanger then stop, facing towards each other.) Claude Scruggs: (giggles) Billy Oilchanger: (grunts as he gets hit by another racer) Claude Scruggs: (gasps as another racer named Todd Marcus comes towards him) (Claude then gets hit by Todd, ending upside down on Todd's roof.) Claude Scruggs and Todd Marcus: Aaaaaahhh!! (Then the camera shows McQueen, who is driving through the wreckage and dodging the other racers.) Bob Cutlass: Wait a second, Darrell. McQueen is in the wreckage. Darrell Cartrip: There's no way the rookie can make it through! Not in one piece, that is. (McQueen continues dodging the other racers who are sliding across the track. Then he bounces on Claude's undercarriage up into the air, exhaling and having his tongue down. Then he moves his tire towards the audience.) Lightning McQueen: Yeah! Mia and Tia: (as a reflection of McQueen's bolt sticker shines on them) Lightning! Oh! (McQueen then lands back on the ground.) Darrell Cartrip: Look at that! McQueen made it through! Bob Cutlass: And a spectacular move by Lightning McQueen! Lightning McQueen: Yeah! Ka-chow! Crowd: (chanting) McQueen! McQueen! McQueen! McQueeen! McQueen! Albert Hinkey: Yeah, McQueen! Ka-chow! (honks his horn, while the crowd members around him are disgusted by its loud noise) Bob Cutlass: While everyone else heads into the pits, McQueen stays out to take the lead! (While Bob is talking, a pace car named Charlie Checker appears in front of McQueen. Then the camera then shows a tow truck named Tow towing a damaged racer called Chuck Armstrong.) Chuck Armstrong: Don't take me out, coach. I can still race! (The camera then shows most of the other racers having a pit stop. It then shows Chick, while his pitties are changing his tires.) Chick Hicks: (chuckles) What do you think, boys? A thing of beauty. Chief Chick: McQueen made it through! Chick Hicks: What?! (The camera then shows the TV screen, which McQueen is still on the track.) Random voice: He's not pitting! Chick Hicks: Come on! You gotta get me out there! Let's go! Get me back out there! Come on! Bob Cutlass: McQueen's not going into the pits! Darrell Cartrip: You know, the rookie just fired his crew chief. That's the third one this season! (The other racers are seen driving through the pit lane back onto the track.) Bob Cutlass: Well, he says he likes working alone, Darrell. (While Bob is talking, Chick is seen ending his pit stop as the other racers are driving past him.) Chief Chick: Go, go! (Chick then starts off, getting in the middle of the queue.) Bob Cutlass: Looks like Chick got caught up in the pits. Darrell Cartrip: Yeah, after a stop like that, he's got a lot of ground to make up. Get ready, boys, we're coming to the restart! (The crowd cheers as the race restarts with McQueen progressing through in first place. Meanwhile, Chick is struggling to get past the other racers.) Chick Hicks: (overtaking a racer named Greg Candyman) Come on. Come on. (McQueen continues progressing through the race in the lead.) Chick Hicks: (after overtaking a racer named Ponchy Wipeout) Come on, come on, come on! (Then the King overtakes a white car named Matthew Overtaker. Finally, McQueen comes into the pits. His pit crew arrives, with the crew chief named Not Chuck.) Rust-eze Pitty 1: (putting fuel into McQueen) We need tires now! Come on, let's go! Lightning McQueen: No, no, no, no! No tires, just gas! (drives away) Not Chuck: What?! You need tires, you idiot! (One of the pitties slams a tire onto the ground.) Darrell Cartrip: Looks like it's all gas-and-go's for McQueen today. Bob Cutlass: That's right. No tires again. Darrell Cartrip: Now normally, I'd say that's a short-term gain, long-term loss, but it sure is workin' for him. Hey, he obviously knows somethin' we don't know. (The scene continues progressing through the race, with McQueen having a huge lead and starting the last lap.) Bob Cutlass: This is it, Darrell. One lap to go and Lightning McQueen has a huge lead. Darrell Cartrip: Ah, he's got it in the bag. Call in the dogs and put out the fire! We're gonna crown us a new champion! Crowd: (cheers and whistles) Mia and Tia: (both scream) Lightning McQueen: Checkered flag, here I come! (Suddenly, one of McQueen's rear tires blows.) Darrell Cartrip: Oh, no! McQueen's blown a tire! Crowd: (gasps) Bob Cutlass: And with only one turn to go! Can he make it? Not Chuck: You fool! Rust-eze Pitty 2: (grunts and knocks down a cart of tires) (McQueen is struggling to get to the finish line while his bare wheel causes sparks on the track. The camera then shows the King and Chick as they see McQueen's wheel on the TV screen with no tire.) Chief Chick: (through the radio) McQueen's blown a tire! McQueen's blown a tire! Go, go, go, go, go! (The King and Chick then go faster as McQueen is driving slightly slower with one tire lost.) Lightning McQueen: (grunts) (Suddenly, his other rear tire blows.) Lightning McQueen: Aah! Darrell Cartrip: He's lost another tire! The King and Chick are coming up fast! Bob Cutlass: They're entering turn three! Lightning McQueen: Come on! (grunts) (The camera shows the other racers catching up.) Darrell Cartrip: I don't believe what I'm watching, Bob! Lightning McQueen is 100 feet from his Piston Cup! Lightning McQueen: (gasps and continuously does several jumps towards the finish line as the King and Chick are getting closer) Chick Hicks: (growls and finally gets beside the King, but not in front of him) Bob Cutlass: The King and Chick rounding turn four. (McQueen is still jumping continuously towards the finish line as the King and Chick get closer and closer.) Darrell Cartrip: Down the stretch they come! And it's, and it's... (The King and Chick cross the finish line along with McQueen stretching his tongue out over it.) Bob Cutlass: It's too close to call! Darrell Cartrip: I don't believe it! Bob Cutlass: Too close to call! Mia and Tia: Lightning! Darrell Cartrip: I don't believe it! (cheers) Bob Cutlass: (while Darrell is talking) The most spectacular, amazing, unequivocally, unbelievable ending in the history of the world! Darrell Cartrip: Look at that! Bob Cutlass: And we don't even know who won! (The officials are then shown watching replays of the finish at different angles.) Security Officer 1: That's very close to call. Security Officer 2: Can we play that again? (Meanwhile, one of the security officers, named Richard Clayton Kensington, notices someone watching them with a camera.) Richard Clayton Kensington: Hey, no cameras! Get outta here! (The screen shows from a reporter's camera filming Kori Turbowitz with McQueen and his pit crew as the Rust-eze pitties change his tires while the team watch from a distance.) Kori Turbowitz: We're here in Victory Lane, awaiting the race results. McQueen, that was quite a risky move, not taking tires. Not Chuck: Tell me about it! Kori Turbowitz: Are you sorry you didn't have a crew chief out there? Not Chuck: Ha! Lightning McQueen: (chuckles) Oh, Kori. There's a lot more to racing than just winning. I mean, taking the race by a full lap... Where's the entertainment in that? Not Chuck: Ha! Lightning McQueen: No, no. I wanted to give the folks a little sizzle. Not Chuck: Sizzle? Lightning McQueen: Am I sorry I didn't have a crew chief? No. I'm not. Cause I'm a one man show. Not Chuck: What? Oh, yeah, right. Kori Turbowitz: (to the TV audience) That was a very confident Lightning McQueen. Coming to you live from Victory Lane, I'm Kori Turbowitz. (Kori then drives away, while the reporter tries to get McQueen's bolt sticker on the TV screen. Not Chuck was blocking the view while changing one of McQueen's tires.) Reporter: Hey! Get outta the shot. Lightning McQueen: Yo, Chuck. Chuck, what are you doing? You're blockin' the camera! Everyone wants to see the bolt. Not Chuck: What?! Lightning McQueen: Now, back away. Not Chuck: (groans and slams his air wrench towards the ground) That's it! Come on, guys. (The Rust-eze pitties then leave.) Lightning McQueen: (as one of the pitties drops his side onto the ground) Ow! Whoa, team! Where are you going? Not Chuck: We quit, Mr. One-Man Show! Lightning McQueen: Oh, OK, leave. Fine. (chuckles) How will I ever find anyone else who knows how to fill me up with gas? (The crowd then laughs.) Lightning McQueen: Adios, Chuck! Not Chuck: And my name is not Chuck! Lightning McQueen: Oh, whatever. (Chick and his crew emerge from the crowd) Chick Hicks: Hey, Lightning! Yo, McQueen! That was some pretty darn nice racing out there. BY ME! (laughs) Welcome to the Chick Era baby! The Piston Cup? It's mine, dude. It's mine... (to his crew) Hey, fellas, how do you I'd look in Dinoco blue? Dinoco blue! (laughs again) Lightning McQueen: In your dreams, Thunder. Chick Hicks: Yeah, right. Thunder? What's he talkin' about, "Thunder"? Lightning McQueen: You know, 'cause thunder always comes after lightning. (poses to the crowd) Ka-ping! Ka-pow! Chick Hicks: (to his pitties) Who knew about the thunder thing? HTB Pitty: I didn't. (The crowd then tries to take pictures of McQueen posing his flashing bolt sticker to them.) Photographer 1: Give us the bolt, McQueen! Photographer 2: That's right. Photographer 3: Right in the lens. Houser Boon: Show us the bolt! Photographer 4: Show me the bolt, baby! Photographer 5: Smile, McQueen! Photographer 6: Show me the bolt, McQueen! Photographer 7: That's it! Lightning McQueen: Ka-chow! Ka-ping! Ka-pow! (Meanwhile, at the Dinoco Tent) Tex Dinoco: Oh-ee! That was one close finish. You sure made Dinoco proud. Thank you, King. The King: Well, Tex, you've been good to me all these years. It's the least I could do. Lynda Weathers: Whatever happens, you're a winner to me, you old daddy rabbit. The King: Thanks, dear. Wouldn't be nothing without you. (Lightning is still being photographed when Mia and Tia push their way through to him) Then Mia and Tia come up, screaming for McQueen.) Mia: I'm Mia. Tia: I'm Tia. Mia and Tia: We're, like, your biggest fans! Ka-chow! (they flash McQueen with their headlights) Lightning McQueen: I love being me. (Then two police officers come up to move Mia and Tia away.) Police: OK, girls, that's it! Mia and Tia: We love you, Lightning! (McQueen chuckles, and blows a kiss to Mia and Tia. Then The King comes up.) The King: Hey, buddy. You're one gutsy racer. Lightning McQueen: Oh, hey, Mr. The King. The King: And you got more talent in one lug nut than a lot of cars has got in their whole body. Lightning McQueen: Really? Oh, that... The King: But you're stupid. Lightning McQueen: Excuse me? The King: This ain't a one-man deal, kid. You need to wise up and get yourself a good crew chief and a good team. You ain't gonna win unless you got good folks behind you, (his voice dwindles as McQueen looks towards the Dinoco stage) and you let them do their job, like they should. Like I tell the boys at the shop... Lightning McQueen: (to himself) A good team. Yeah... (Electronic music plays as McQueen daydreams of being sponsored by Dinoco. It shows him with a trophy and two Dinoco Girls beside him, with one of the girls kissing him on the cheek. Then it shows his paint being changed to blue, removing his decals and replacing the Rust-eze logo with Dinoco's. It shows the text saying "The new face of Dinoco", and changing the text "The King" to a logo of McQueen with the text "Lightning McQueen". It then shows McQueen posing in a studio.) Lightning McQueen: Ka-chow! Ka-pow! (Then it shows McQueen on the covers of some magazines, and then it shows him with Mia and Tia in Dinoco paint on a red carpet being surrounded by a cheering crowd. Then it shows the text "Lightning McQueen is Lightning Storm". It shows some people being attacked by some giant robots with bodies shaped like spark plugs. One person, who gets zapped by a robot's laser, does the Wilhelm scream as he turns to dust. McQueen is flying in the air, and shoots missiles at the robots. Then the screen shows McQueen with Mia and Tia around the crowd from on the red carpet, which McQueen signs his tire marks on the Walk of Fame. Then it shows him inside a building near the Hollywood Sign, which he is between Mia and Tia painted gold.) Mia: Oh, Lightning! (Both Mia and Tia repeatedly kiss McQueen on the sides. Then his daydream ends as the screen shows the present day.) The King: If you figure that out, you just gonna be OK. Lightning McQueen: Oh, (clears his throat) yeah, that... That is spectacular advice. Thank you, Mr. The King. (Just then, a fanfare is then heard.) Lightning McQueen: Oh! Bob Cutlass: Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Piston Cup history... Lightning McQueen: (revving his engine) A rookie has won the Piston Cup. (He then drives through the wallpaper of the stage to the front.) Yes! Bob Cutlass: ...we have a three-way tie. (McQueen was shocked at this. The crowd then cheers and flashes their cameras as confetti shoots out. Then The King and Chick come onto the stage.) Chick Hicks: (chuckles) Hey, McQueen, that must be really embarrassing. But I wouldn't worry about it. Because I didn't do it! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Bob Cutlass: Piston Cup officials have determined that a tiebreaker race between the three leaders will be held in California in one week. (The crowd continues taking pictures of the three leaders.) Chick Hicks: Well, thank you! Thanks to all of you out there! Thank you! (whispers to McQueen) Hey, rook, first one to California gets Dinoco all to himself. (shouts to the crowd) Ah! No, not me! No, you rock, and you know that! (Then the screen shows fireworks exploding in the sky as a blimp named Al Oft watches from above.) Al Oft: Oh, yeah! Whoo!